Between meticulously planning story arcs that never see the light of day, repeatedly consulting the rulebook mid-battle, and striving for impossible feats of Mercer-level narration, more than a few frazzled, burnt-out DMs have considered yeeting their DM screens out the window in sheer frustration. Before you go on a dice-chucking rampage, though, take a deep, calming breath. These common mistakes turn epic adventures into anxiety-riddled death marches that lead to one destination: D&D DM burnout.
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I want you to know that being a Dungeon Master or Game Master doesn’t have to be stressful. But for a lot of us, it often is. Many things can contribute to that: player behavior, family or work responsibilities, people’s expectations. But we can’t usually control those. Today we’re going to talk about what we can control. We’re looking at nine mistakes that make DMing stressful. Let’s explore the pitfalls and challenges that can turn your DMing experience into a roller coaster of stress, and more importantly, how to avoid them.
Common Pitfalls That Lead to D&D DM burnout
1. Overpreparation
It’s a paradox, but too much preparation can be as harmful as too little. If you spend hours creating intricate details that might never be used, that can lead to burnout and unnecessary stress. Find the sweet spot between preparation and improvisation.
2. Rigidity in Storytelling
DMs who insist on following their storyline to the letter without allowing player agency can create a stressful experience for both their players and themselves. Flexibility is key. Let the story evolve through collaboration. If the players help decide the direction of the game, that’s less pressure on you, and everyone will have more fun.
3. Rules Lawyering
We usually talk about this in terms of that annoying player who has to second-guess every action and let you know what the PHB says. But guess what? A DM can be a rules lawyer too. Constantly bringing a halt to the game to look up rules or argue about them can suck the fun right out of game night and create unnecessary tension. That tension stresses you out and it makes it no fun for anybody else. Prioritize storytelling, the flow of the game, and fun over a rules-perfect run of underwater combat.
4. Unrealistic Expectations
Setting impossibly high standards for yourself can lead to chronic stress. Listen, you’re probably an amazing DM, but you’re not Matt Mercer. You’re not a professional voice actor, artist, or writer—unless you are! You’re a Dungeon Master. Playing a game with your friends is NOT the same as creating a flawless production for your massive YouTube audience. You are good at stuff, so embrace the things that you’re good at and let go of perfectionism. Good is better than perfect.
5. Not Getting Player Feedback
You have to have open communication with your players. Otherwise, you won’t know if they’re enjoying the game or not until somebody blows up and storms out. More likely, you’ll sense tension at the table because someone or multiple players are having an issue with your game that they don’t feel like they can talk to you about.
Let your players know upfront in Session Zero that their feedback is welcome, and keep that promise. Listen to what they have to say. If they have valid concerns, be mature enough to make necessary adjustments. It shows maturity and dignity. The point is to have fun, and if they’re not having fun, then something is wrong. Maybe your D&D party isn’t the right one for them, and that’s okay. Or maybe you just need to tweak some small details that you don’t even really care about. But you won’t know if you don’t keep those lines of communication open. As with a lot of things in life, constructive feedback is a DM’s best friend.
6. Campaign Overcommitment
If you’re running a homebrew campaign on Tuesdays, and Waterdeep Dragon Heist on Wednesdays, and Dragons of Stormwreck Isle for a group of newbies on Fridays, and you’re working up a Strahd one-shot for Halloween… that’s a recipe for an epic ulcer that burns with the fires of Avernus. Running too many campaigns or creating complex storylines in a single campaign without considering your schedule and energy levels can lead to burnout. Life lesson here: it’s okay to say no to additional commitments. Pro tip: quality over quantity, any day of the week.
7. Forgetting to Have Fun Leads to D&D DM Burnout
As a DM, it’s easy to get completely wrapped up in preparing for and managing the game, and then forget to enjoy it. You’re playing a game. If running it the way you’re running it is keeping you from having fun, just let some things go. It’s okay. Just embrace the magic of the storytelling journey. A happy DM makes for a happy game, and vice versa, unfortunately.
8. The DM vs. Player Mentality
When you turn your D&D game into an adversarial battle between DM and players, you’re going to start seeing some of that tension we talked about earlier. As the DM, you can throw anything you want at your players, and if your goal is to beat them, you’re probably going to. And that’s just no fun for the players. Even if they stay through a whole adventure, I can pretty much guarantee you that they won’t be back to your table after that. It’s a cooperative experience. As the DM, you should be guiding your players on a journey, and yes, that journey is full of challenges and uncertainty, and hopefully high stakes. If you want to run a fun and memorable game, collaboration is the way. This is the way.
9. Neglecting Self-Care Is a Sure Path to D&D DM Burnout
Between preparation and running games, being a Dungeon Master is a lot of work. If you’re feeling stressed about it, remember it’s a game. It’s okay to take a break, to get some rest, to relax, and let your mind go to other things that fill you up. Because if playing D&D with your friends and family is draining you, frankly, you’re doing it wrong. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, because if you’re stressed out, you can’t create a fun experience for your players. If you’ve got a table full of good people, they’d rather you take care of yourself at the expense of some story points than burn yourself out over it.
I love being a Dungeon Master, and I know you do too. For all of us, we want to keep it that way. If it feels like a burden, take an honest look at your approach. Are you making any of these common mistakes? If you are, take steps to change that. Avoid these mistakes, and you can transform your DMing experience from stressful into a fun and memorable adventure.
What are some ways you prevent D&D DM burnout at your table?
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